Shame Culture in Japan - Why Are We So Conscious of Hazukashii ?

We Japanese frequently experience feelings of "hazukashii" (shame or embarrassment) in our daily lives - when we speak too loudly on a train, make an irrelevant comment during a meeting, or commit a social faux pas in public.

This emotion of "hazukashii" transcends mere personal feelings and has become a defining cultural element of Japanese society.

From childhood, we've been taught "not to inconvenience others" and have learned to be conscious of others' eyes and act according to social norms. This "shame culture" has played a crucial role in maintaining public manners and social order.

However, this "shame culture" is transforming amid significant changes in our social environment, including globalization and the widespread use of social media.

Particularly among younger generations, there's growing emphasis on expressing individuality and embracing a spirit of challenge without fear of failure.

At the same time, new challenges related to "shame" have emerged, such as novel forms of social sanctions through social media.

In this blog, I want to explore the essence of Japanese people's feelings of "hazukashii" while examining the significance and challenges of "shame culture" in contemporary society.

The Japanese Concept of "Shame" and Its Impact on Society

One of the defining emotional characteristics of Japanese psychology is the sense of "shame" (hazukashisa). This emotion is shaped through education and social experiences from early childhood and significantly influences Japanese behavioral patterns.

From a young age, Japanese people repeatedly learn at home and school that "you must not inconvenience others." Through this process, behaviors that show a lack of consideration for others become recognized as "shameful."

For example, speaking loudly in public places or littering are strongly perceived as actions that inconvenience others.

This sense of "shame" greatly influences Japanese people's behavioral choices in daily life.

In school life, many students feel anxious about deviating from group behavior and tend to act in harmony with those around them.

Similarly, in cafes and restaurants, people naturally lower their voices out of consideration for other customers.

This consciousness of "shame" also serves as a self-regulating function.

Many Japanese people tend to reflect on and regret their actions when they deviate from social norms.

This habit of self-reflection contributes to maintaining social order.

While the sense of "shame" can sometimes lead to excessive pressure to conform and self-restraint, it functions as an important element of Japanese culture that emphasizes consideration for others and social harmony.

This sensibility is deeply involved in forming behavioral norms in Japanese social life.

Common Patterns of When Japanese People Feel "Shame"

Let's explore common patterns of situations where Japanese people tend to feel shame or embarrassment.

1. When Their Actions Interfere with Others

In Japanese society, "consideration for others" is highly valued, and the realization that one's actions are causing discomfort or inconvenience to others triggers strong feelings of shame.

This stems from the deeply ingrained education since childhood that "one must not cause trouble for others," and the recognition of failing to fulfill one's responsibility as a member of society deepens this sense of shame.

Specific Situations:

• Large bags bothering other passengers on trains
• Almost bumping into people while using smartphones while walking
• Speaking loudly in restaurants
• Stopping on escalators, blocking people behind

2. When Unable to Meet Expected Social Behaviors and Etiquette

The self-awareness of failing to meet standards considered "basic" for a functioning member of society triggers strong feelings of shame.

This isn't just about capability, but also anxiety about revealing a lack of proper upbringing or education to others.

In such situations, concern about others' suddenly lowered evaluation of oneself also significantly intensifies the feeling of shame.

Specific Situations:

• Unable to use appropriate honorific language with superiors
• Incorrect use of chopsticks during meals
• Unable to behave appropriately at weddings or funerals
• Lacking basic business manners in the workplace

3. When Unable to Do Something That Others Can Do

Self-doubt arising from comparison with others creates strong feelings of inferiority.

Particularly, being the only one unable to do something within a group significantly decreases self-esteem.

Additionally, the anxiety about not meeting others' expectations compounds this, leading to deeper feelings of shame.

This is amplified by Japan's unique group consciousness.

Specific Situations:

• Being the only one unable to solve problems in class
• Unable to express appropriate opinions in meetings
• Unable to perform basic movements in sports
• Falling behind others in group work

4. When Taking Actions or Expressing Opinions Different from Others

Anxiety about isolation from the group and fear of being labeled as "someone who can't read the air" creates strong feelings of shame.

This is heavily influenced by Japanese culture's emphasis on harmony and pressure to conform, and is connected to feelings of guilt about disrupting group unity.

Taking a different stance from others can create social discomfort, which manifests as shame.

Specific Situations:

• Expressing opinions different from the majority in meetings
• Taking different actions within group activities
• Making choices that don't follow trends or customs
• Making comments that don't match the group atmosphere

The Benefits and Drawbacks of Japan's Shame Culture

Benefits

Japan's shame culture plays a vital role in maintaining social order and fostering personal growth.

First, a heightened awareness of public etiquette naturally reduces conflicts between people and creates a comfortable living environment for everyone.

For instance, people naturally practice consideration for others, such as maintaining quiet behavior on trains and properly disposing of waste.

Through experiences of feeling shame, people develop habits of being mindful not to cause similar feelings in others.

This cultivates a natural tendency to understand others' perspectives and emotions, leading to smoother interpersonal relationships.

Moreover, experiences of shame serve as important catalysts for self-improvement.

By reflecting on failures and inappropriate behaviors, people are naturally motivated to improve their conduct.

This process plays a crucial role in personal development.

Additionally, the awareness of others that stems from shame contributes to collective growth.

The desire to keep up with the group raises the motivation of all members, ultimately leading to improvement of the entire organization.

Drawbacks

However, the shame culture also has significant problems that cannot be overlooked.

The most prominent issue is that feeling shame about behaviors or ideas that differ from others can suppress new ideas and creative thinking.

This tendency hinders innovation and creativity.

Furthermore, social shame can sometimes be weaponized beyond affecting emotions, becoming a tool to attack someone's social position or status.

This can lead to serious problems such as bullying and social exclusion.

The psychology of avoiding shame also creates strong pressure to conform.

As a result, many individuals suppress their personal desires and goals, often giving up on living life according to their own values and choices.

Lastly, excessive consciousness of shame can trigger unnecessary self-criticism and self-denial.

Constantly evaluating one's words and actions harshly can make it difficult to develop healthy self-confidence, hindering psychological growth and deterring people from taking on new challenges.

The Evolution of Shame in Japanese Society

Japanese society is experiencing a significant shift in its perception of shame.

In educational settings, there is now a strong emphasis on celebrating individuality, with behaviors and opinions that were once considered "shameful" for being different now being actively valued.

This transformation reflects modern society's growing appreciation for diversity.

However, the consciousness of shame hasn't completely disappeared from educational environments.

Traditional elements of shame continue to function as tools for maintaining social norms and rules, as evidenced by practices like uniform dress codes and the emphasis on group activities in clubs and school events.

This represents the deeply rooted collective consciousness in Japan's educational system and continues to serve as a crucial element in developing social awareness.

Social media has introduced a new dimension to the concept of shame.

What was once limited to immediate social circles can now potentially spread throughout society.

Social media "flaming" and public condemnation have become new forms of social pressure that can excessively restrict individual behavior and expression - a phenomenon distinct from traditional shame culture.

In the business world, rapid IT advancement and globalization have significantly altered attitudes toward shame.

Particularly among startups and IT companies, there's a growing culture that embraces risk-taking and values unconventional thinking and behavior.

This shift is seen as essential for adapting to rapidly changing market conditions and represents an effort to overcome the conservative aspects of traditional shame culture.

Thus, while maintaining certain traditional values, the concept of shame in Japanese society is gradually transforming to meet contemporary demands.

Moving forward, society will likely seek a new balance between maintaining the consciousness of shame necessary for social order and fostering the courage to innovate and express individuality.

My Thoughts on "Shame Culture"

As a Japanese person, I too unconsciously incorporate the concept of "avoiding shame" into my daily life.

For instance, I feel shame when my laptop suddenly makes loud noises in a café, when I'm the only one who can't do something that my friends and others can do, or when someone gets angry at me because of my work.

In these situations, I immediately feel the need to correct my behavior.

I believe these feelings, to varying degrees, exist in the hearts of Japanese people, and they contribute to maintaining our safe and secure society.

However, shame promotes self-reflection - sometimes too much.

The strong desire to avoid future mistakes, to not inconvenience others, and to not stand out can place excessive restrictions on individuals' honest feelings and actions.

This can sometimes lead to a suffocating atmosphere within Japanese society.

I think modern Japanese people may have become too conscious of "living in a way that avoids shame in the eyes of others," sometimes losing balance in the process.

That's precisely why we now need a better balance - between acting with awareness of those around us and having the tolerance to pursue what we want to do without being overly conscious of shame.

This balance is becoming increasingly important in today's society.